Means to an End
This post is to openly profess the end of what I knew to be a beautiful relationship. This has been by far the hardest thing I am enduring right now...Picking up my shit and moving on.
I realize that a relationship ending is inevitable, no matter how hard you fight or try, what must be will be. Why it must hurt or cause so much chaos (mentally, physically and emotionally) is unbeknownst to me.
I have always been known as the heartbreaker, the tease and the least likely to want to stay committed as long as I manage to in a relationship, but I really wanted this one to be permanent.
I pride myself in generally being one to accept and press forward but I love this woman. The thought of anyone loving her the way I do is enough to make me want to throw a total B.F. (Bitch Fit)!
How will I get through it...I have no idea. I don't think that entering another relationship would be the ideal thing to do, mostly because it would just be a rebound. I do believe that every next relationship can be and almost is a rebound.
I don't think that cutting this person off is the answer because I would miss her too much. I don't like her right now, but I would miss her nonetheless.
Everyone says that being busy is good but what good is it when she is on my mind almost 24/7?
This shit is torture. I am laughing hysterically as I say that. I feel weak and vulnerable and psycho!
Im tired of getting high, so I keep smoking Newports like a bandit...what the HELL!
I will take any kind of advice, sincere or superficial at this point.
On a funnier note, a women came into my office today and asked me to do her taxes for the new *PHYSICAL year* smh...I wouldn' mind doing her taxes for the new fiscal year, but I didn't bother to tell her that....lol.
.
Going to have a smoke. Holla.
seeking inner Peace. vintage woman.
I realize that a relationship ending is inevitable, no matter how hard you fight or try, what must be will be. Why it must hurt or cause so much chaos (mentally, physically and emotionally) is unbeknownst to me.
I have always been known as the heartbreaker, the tease and the least likely to want to stay committed as long as I manage to in a relationship, but I really wanted this one to be permanent.
I pride myself in generally being one to accept and press forward but I love this woman. The thought of anyone loving her the way I do is enough to make me want to throw a total B.F. (Bitch Fit)!
How will I get through it...I have no idea. I don't think that entering another relationship would be the ideal thing to do, mostly because it would just be a rebound. I do believe that every next relationship can be and almost is a rebound.
I don't think that cutting this person off is the answer because I would miss her too much. I don't like her right now, but I would miss her nonetheless.
Everyone says that being busy is good but what good is it when she is on my mind almost 24/7?
This shit is torture. I am laughing hysterically as I say that. I feel weak and vulnerable and psycho!
Im tired of getting high, so I keep smoking Newports like a bandit...what the HELL!
I will take any kind of advice, sincere or superficial at this point.
On a funnier note, a women came into my office today and asked me to do her taxes for the new *PHYSICAL year* smh...I wouldn' mind doing her taxes for the new fiscal year, but I didn't bother to tell her that....lol.
.
Going to have a smoke. Holla.
seeking inner Peace. vintage woman.
posted by Ms_Scott at 10:18 AM
3 Comments:
XQuery launches for the Java Platform
Jonathan Robie, the XQuery Language Program Manager at DataDirect, Jonathan Robie has some important news over on his blog .
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Hey! Well, I'm sorry you are going through this but, you know with time, you can get through anything. It may not be easy but, eventually, if you just keep going through one day, then the next, soon, you will be far enuff to turn around and look back. For now, do what you hafta do to deal with the grief. It's okay to feel sad and sick and upset but only for a little while. Eventually u hafta pick urself up and move along. *sigh* If it's of any comfort, please know that ending matters of the heart takes most of us through the same kind of pain and there is nothing that can heal it except patience and time. Happens to all of us, no matter who u are, how much you have, where you are. I hope u feel better soon.
I can think of a few ways you can get your mind off of her... *wink* sometimes traveling is the way to go... venturing out, getting a change of scenery. If you are around too many things that remind you of her, it will be harder.
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