Who Is Lauryn Hill?

I was listening to the radio on my way into work this morning and heard some very disturbing information. MC Serch (yep, from 3rd Base) informed the listeners that after the BET awards and a thrilling attempt at a Fugees comeback, Sis. Hill had another nervous break down.

Main Entry: nervous breakdown Function: noun: an attack of mental or emotional disorder especially when of sufficient severity to require hospitalization.

It was said that Praz and Wyclef weren't aware that Lauryn was to perform some solo joints and were a bit agitated behind that seeing as how this whole performance was for the reunification of the Fugee-La. Needless to say, this turned into beef and it was said that Lauryn "broke down and retreated to the dressing room".

This blog is coming to life for two reasons. One is that I never really ever over-admire celebrities, but Lauryn is my lyrical shero! Furthermore, she is my peer and our struggles can be and probably are parallel.
Many of us have seen Lauryn perform recently and ask "what's wrong with her?", "did Wyclef make her crazy?", or "has she fallen off for good?". I know I have posed those same questions, unwilling to believe that my shero (or at least the public image of her) has deteriorated!

The better question is what is going on in her life? What has been going on? Where and when did she realize she couldn't handle the "pressure" for lack of a better term? I am & have been in her shoes. I too have suffered from a nervous breakdown of sorts. My father is still dealing with breakdowns he has had in his teenage years from losing his mother and most recently his brother and only friend. The magnitudes vary and so do the causes. They can be:

1. Pressure (Peer/ Familial/ Job, etc.): 1 a : the burden of physical or mental distress b : the constraint of circumstance : the weight of social or economic imposition2 : the application of force to something by something else in direct contact with it.

Damn.

2. Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome: a psychological reaction occurring after a highly stressing event that is usually characterized by depression, anxiety, flashbacks, recurrent nightmares, and avoidance of reminders of the event.

3. Anxiety: 1 a : painful or apprehensive uneasiness of mind usually over an impending or anticipated ill b : fearful concern or interest c : a cause of anxiety2 : an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs (as sweating, tension, and increased pulse), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one's capacity to cope with it

It all sounds pretty regular doesn't it? Sounds like something we all go through, but to endure it on a daily basis is another thing. Not knowing or being able to think rationally enough to move yourself through a day is the hardest shit. You would be surprised how many people you pass by on your way to work, sit next to in a restaurant or are related to who are HOLDING ON TO THEIR SANITY BY A THREAD! My girl told me that you never see crazy coming...it sneaks up on you.
* Side note: forgive the un-p.c. word "crazy", her sentiments, not mines.

I don't know what Lauryn is going through in depth but I will make these next statements hoping that some way, some how she might see this blog.

Lauryn, don't let LIFE pull you down. Don't let the expectations of others matter more than your own. The public eye is a wicked one, but the eye of God is so steady. You can't change mistakes made so don't make the mistake and change. Grow. Your children/ family need you whole, so if you only regroup for you and them...FINE, but do it mostly for you. I love you sister. grow/ get strong even though it's okay to be weak sometimes.

Blog Friends, you will never miss your sanity until it's gone. I thank God/ Praise Him, for restoring my sanity and teaching me that I am the epitome of strength and I cannot be moved. If you feel like any of this applies to you or someone you know, lead them to get professional guidance. Don't give up on them and call often!

Have a beautiful weekend and remember...Waste not one single moment of thought upon the unpleasant happenings of the past. You have not a single moment of time to call your own, but you are privileged to ues each moment as it passes by.

Peace.