What Lies Beneath
I've been thinking on the past lately, and how a lot of the experiences I have had make me apprehensive about moving forward in life. I have learned about myself that it is not so easy to bounce back after failures, rejections and disappointments.
Im not sure where I am suppose to pull the energy from to move on. The church says faith, the hood says its the grind, friends and family say the financial reward...I just can't see that. I can't see the forest for the trees and I feel like such a hypocrite because I will be the first one out here telling folks to follow their dreams, use their talents, be independent; but I don't and won't do that. Even when I know its almost impossible for me to fail.
Insecurity is a BITCH.
I never blogged or do open mic any more because I am not sure of my writing. I haven't cooked a decent meal in days. I haven't catered an event in weeks. I haven't been to school in years. I feel like this world is passing me by and I AM definitely LACKING MOTIVATION. Maybe it's some kind of horrible mid-life/ identity crisis. It seems my friends are doing so much, so well, for so long and enjoying it.
For me, right now, life is like a terrifying roller coaster ride that won't slow down, let alone stop for me to get off and enjoy the scenenarie .
Pray for me, Saints!
Im not sure where I am suppose to pull the energy from to move on. The church says faith, the hood says its the grind, friends and family say the financial reward...I just can't see that. I can't see the forest for the trees and I feel like such a hypocrite because I will be the first one out here telling folks to follow their dreams, use their talents, be independent; but I don't and won't do that. Even when I know its almost impossible for me to fail.
Insecurity is a BITCH.
I never blogged or do open mic any more because I am not sure of my writing. I haven't cooked a decent meal in days. I haven't catered an event in weeks. I haven't been to school in years. I feel like this world is passing me by and I AM definitely LACKING MOTIVATION. Maybe it's some kind of horrible mid-life/ identity crisis. It seems my friends are doing so much, so well, for so long and enjoying it.
For me, right now, life is like a terrifying roller coaster ride that won't slow down, let alone stop for me to get off and enjoy the scenenarie .
Pray for me, Saints!
posted by Ms_Scott at 9:14 AM
2 Comments:
You are right. Hindsight is the WORST.
Hey what's with everyone on this love/ relationship tip? When I was looking no one was wanting...lol.
Leave it to me to have bad timing...roflmao!
Gurll...it's definitely a quarter-life thing. The only way to learn your true purpose is to constantly take time for question and reflection. If you get down, that's okay but you always hafta find some way to pull yourself back up. Motivation definitely comes in spurts, don't feel bad if you aren't 'in the wind' right now, you will find a way to get there because you really want to....stay strong.
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